2/25/09
all eyes
riveted
by sparkles
- el desastre
3/25/09
with your eyes turning to the back of your head
as if to see something you'd long since forgotten
that's the way i want to remember you forever.
4/03/09
It is not enough to simply
have your arms around me….
I need your fingers too.
4/15/09
gaping into the unblinking eye of the void,
a kind of calm descends....a gentle knowing...
and i smile...warmed by the catharsis of disaster.
4/29/09
in the event of an emergency
do not become alarmed...
simply press the button marked: ALARM.
5/13/09
Please don't open up to me ...
i don't want to see inside of you ...
i have my reasons, and my suspicions.
5/29/09
do the wolves ever bay at the sun?
do the trees ever dream of being
consumed by fire? because i do.
6/24/09
when i close my eyes i can see
nipples and tongues and fire and nuns
but when i open them, all i see is you.
7/8/09
death comes like a dust finally settling after
swirling in the wind for years and years....
you must be careful not to breathe it in.
7/17/09
the chanting monks of tibet
the screeching parrots of highland park
the aching silence of my medicine cabinet
7/22/09
words: like stuffing angels into body bags
reading their rumpled forms as if that
was all there was to it
8/5/09
i wish i was a caterpillar so that i could
slither and contort and sprain 32 ankles
but still be able to hobble along.
8/19/09
ted bundy, ed kemper, richard ramirez
all killed for sex...how fucking horny do you
have to get to cut someone's head off?
9/2/09
sure there’s a formula,
there always is … but that does not imply
that we should be so god damn calculating.
9/25/09
it is not a prism until you shine light through it…
without light, it is just another jagged piece of
something—that someone can bludgeon you with.
10/16/09
i don’t think we should talk today…
i think we should communicate in other ways…
i know that’s corny… but your mouth won’t stop bleeding.
10/23/09
knowing the drugs keep the light from penetrating.
needing the drugs to keep the dark from winning.
wanting to quit to keep them both from mattering.
11/20/09
every day, like clawing at your coffin-cloth
wondering why you got to witness
what you knew you should have valued more.
12/18/09
if the dead were to rise, and open their eyes
would they see us now like we were in the past?
would they whisper in our ears that the future doesn't last?
1/22/10
lost in the ether of each other’s breathing …
the sun turns her back and settles into
soft submission... a slave to the night.
2/5/10
unsure how long it had been there
curling up against my ass … getting
damp from all my tired expectations
3/5/10
i walk to and from the fridge
thinking any minute now
the mystery will reveal itself
3/19/10
it’s only deep to you because you’ve been
shallow for so long. it’s only shallow to me
because i don’t trust in your depth perception.
4/2/10
after so many of years of pushing forward
without looking back … I’ve realized
how little I retained. fuck the past; I did.
4/30/10
generations from now … history students
will look back at what’s happening today and think:
history is boring, I’d rather be fucking.
5/14/10
eat vice / dream of waking sex / lower your
expectations / form a committee and steer
them in the wrong direction
5/28/10
you are so beautiful it makes me want to cry.
i wish i could hang on to what it feels like to look at you.
but, i also wish I could slap your face with my dick
6/11/10
don’t you lay those dead eyes on me.
I’ve seen enough of you to know
that what you’re looking for isn’t here.
6/25/10
it’s an odd feeling to have lost all curiosity,
i just don’t want to know anything anymore.
well, except for that, but i can never know that.
7/9/10
no debauchery, no excess, no hedonism
no gluttony, no pleasure, no satisfaction
no passion, in other words: peace
8/13/10
sure, I’m afraid of psychiatrists,
but I’m afraid of sociopaths too
because of their sense of humor.
8/27/10
i push, further and further
back toward origin where
time circles and lifts its veil
9/10/10
so he asks me, “what’s your problem with Jesus?”
and I tell him, “It’s not Jesus, it’s the christians”
and now, he doesn’t ask me anything.
9/24/10
it’s as if my mind refused to believe
what was going on around me
so I chose not to, and now look.
10/8/10
I’ve been hiding from myself for years
but I’ve only started running recently.
and yes, there’s a big difference.